It's a Rickiful Life
by romeocitychicag
Summary: Rick and Morty get bodyswapped, broh. How are they gonna fix it? Read to find out.
1. Part 1

It's a Rickiful Life

 **Author's Note: This was originally going to be a long oneshot, but I'm impatient and haven't posted in a while, so I decided to split it up into a few parts. I tried to make this feel like an actual Rick and Morty episode, so I hope I did good on that front. You won't need tissues for this one, so you can rest easy.**

Morty hopped off of the school bus at the corner and walked the short distance back to his house, his brown backpack slung over one shoulder.

Morty reached his home, but stopped at the evergreen front lawn, perplexed by the unusual increase in noise coming from the house.

The teen carefully walked up to the door and placed the hand not holding his backpack on the doorknob, hesitating due to the uncertainty of what was behind it.

Morty gulped and slowly turned the brass orb and pushed. He was greeted by an explosion of commotion that surprised him.

"What the hell?" Morty shouted. Alien beings filled the living room, destroying the area as they carried out their activities. Red cups half filled with liquid and glass bottles littered the floor, leaving puddles and stains in their spots.

Morty watched Rick stumble to his location at the open front door, an alcohol bottle in hand. "Oh, Morty, I'm sooooo glad th-that you c-uuurp!-ame!"

"Rick, What the hell's going on here?" Morty shouted at his obviously drunk grandfather.

"Your parents left for a trip, and Summer's at a friend's house," Rick slurred. He laced his arm around his grandson's shoulders. "It's just you and me tonight, d-uuurp!-awg!"

Morty batted away his grandfather's arm and glared at him. "Are you crazy? These people are destroying the house! You broke time the last time we tried to cover it up, a-a-and you think it's a good idea to-"

"You need to relax, son!" Rick interrupted. He turned to face the party guests. "This fucker needs a chill bomb, stat!"

After Rick limply pointed to Morty, two aliens ran to him carrying a rubber tube with a red funnel on top. One alien, a blue sludge monster, shoved the rubber tube into Morty's mouth while the other identical looking alien opened a bottle of the same liquid Rick was drinking from. "Bottoms up!"

The alien poured the cyan contents of the glass alien liquor bottle down the funnel into Morty's mouth while all of the other partygoers chanted in encouragement. Rick heard Morty choking and gasping on the alien alcohol. "Breathe through your nose, Morty!"

Morty took the suggestion and breathed through his nose, finding the alcohol much easier to down afterwards. The liquid tasted like breath mints with a sweet aftertaste. While Morty, admittedly, liked the flavor, this foreign liquor left a cold feeling in his stomach instead of a warm one.

The rubber tube was removed from the teen's mouth after the alcohol bottle had no more fluids to give.

"How do you feel?" Rick asked.

Instead of heavily breathing, like he thought he would be doing, Morty felt very relaxed, like his limbs were jelly. "Great."

"G-Glad you joined the party."

00000000

Morty lazily reclined on the couch, a red solo cup in hand. The cup held the same cyan alcohol from before, which was the only thing keeping him relaxed.

He half watched Rick talk to two younger looking human type alien women. He guessed they were siblings, because they looked similar with their shiny red hair and light green skin.

A purple minotaur approached Rick holding a small deep blue vial. "Rick, you gotta try this out."

Rick noticed the small bottle in his hand. "-uuurp!-Hell yeah!"

Morty felt a slight pluck of worry that was almost drowned out by the relaxing alcohol. "Wait, what is it?"

"I don't know," The minotaur answered. "Found it in your crisper drawer."

"Pass that sh-uuurp!-it over here, dawg!" Rick said. He snatched the vial from the alien, ripped off the cork on top, and took a giant swig from it.

 _Heh, that looks like fun,_ Morty thought to himself. "Rick, gimme some of that!"

"M-My man M-uuurp!-orty!" Rick dumped the rest of the clear booze into his grandson's plastic cup. Morty downed the contents in one gulp and threw it to the ground.

The last thing Morty remembered seeing was Rick leaving the couch for more booze.

00000000

"Uuugh," Morty groaned, taken aback by the fact that his voice was deeper and more gruff than usual. He opened his eyes to find out he must have tumbled to the ground in his drunken stupor. Yet, surprisingly, he didn't feel very hung over.

Morty rose from the ground, realizing the floor looked farther away from him. He was confused about the situation, and his grogginess wasn't helping.

Morty stumbled into the bathroom from the living room and turned on the sink faucet. He splashed the cold water in his face in an attempt to wake himself up when he noticed that his hands turned a more gray color, his fingers elongated. His wrists were covered by a white fabric with light blue sleeves peeking out from under them.

Morty lifted his head to the mirror to be hit with unabashed shock.

He saw Rick's reflection in the mirror.

Morty dashed out of the bathroom, suddenly lit with nervous energy, and ran back to the living room to find Rick.

He discovered that Rick, in Morty's body, was passed out under the pale yellow curtains of a window.

"Rick, you gotta get up," Morty said, still finding it uncomfortable to hear his words come out of his grandfather's body's mouth.

After some prodding, Rick groaned and laboriously sat himself in an upright position. "What time is it?" He groaned. His eyes snapped fully open. "Why the hell is my voice so damn annoying?"

Rick jerked his head up to see his grandson in his own body, giving him a quizzical and concerned look. Rick looked down at his own hands to find them much lighter in skin tone and smaller, more innocent looking. "Morty, you idiot! What the hell did you do?"

"I don't know!" Morty cried. "I-I w-woke up and this is what happened!"

Rick pinched the bridge of his now smaller nose. "Come into the garage with me." He took hold of Morty's wrist and dragged him into the garage.

Rick angrily pulled out a full body mirror from one corner of the garage and inspected himself. Morty had an anxious look plastered on his face, an expression that had never been seen much on Rick's body.

Rick pushed the mirror away and sank down into the office chair by his workbench. "I need a drink." He instinctively reached into the lab coat he wasn't wearing for his flask, but realized he was grasping at thin air. He lunged at Morty, dug into the real lab coat for his flask, and took a long draft from it.

Rick noticed the deep blue vial of alcohol from last night peeking out of his former lab coat, which he also retrieved. He slammed the bottle down on the workbench, ducked under it, and pulled out a device that looked similar to his portal gun. He scanned the gold alien hieroglyphics on the label of the bottle, which created a sour look on Rick's face.

"Fuck me," Rick growled.

"What is it?" Morty timidly said.

"This is body swapping alcohol,", Rick explained. "It causes the drinkers to swap bodies the next day. You know, perfect for those _married_ morons who are tired of their lives consisting of getting kicked in the balls daily." Rick peered closer at the label. "Wonderful. There's no cure, and bodies only have twelve hours before they're permanently swapped."

"So how do we fix it?" Morty asked.

"Did you not just hear me? I said there's no cure, you idiot."

"Y-Y-You know, you pride yourself on being such a genius, and you can't even fix a simple bodyswap? Pretty pathetic, Rick." Morty sneered. He was trying to provoke his grandfather now in his body, to motivate him to try.

The attempt worked better than expected. "Fuck you. I can do this in my sleep. I'm amazing."

"Then why not do it, tough guy?" Morty said. "Make the cure and prove to everyone how 'amazing' you are."

"Then move." Rick shoved Morty out of the way of the workbench and slid over a collection of test tubes and a notepad from the corner into the center. "Out."

00000000

"How's it going?" Morty inquired. He noted the growing amount of crumpled papers that were scattered on the ground, each holding failed versions of a scrambled formula.

"Give me the hydrochloric acid over there," Rick ordered, ignoring Morty's question.

Morty walked to a nearby table, selected the test tube containing the requested ingredient among the other substances, and handed it to Rick, who absentmindedly dumped it into a machine. On his whiteboard nearby was an unfinished scrawled formula.

"I-Is it almost done?" Morty nervously asked.

"Y-You can't rush these things, Morty," Rick hastily replied. He felt Morty's phone vibrate in his pocket. "Son of a bitch, what now?"

Morty took his phone back after Rick pulled it out and looked at it. "Mom and Dad are home." he said, anxiety painted on his face.

Before they could react, Jerry stormed into the garage. "There you are, Morty. You need to get to school."

Morty threw Rick an anxious look. Rick annoyedly sighed in return. "Get out of my hair, Jerry. I'm busy."

"Wait, did you just call me Jerry?" He shook his head. "That doesn't matter. You have to get to school. You can see Rick later.

Morty, out of fear of his father finding out about the swap, spoke. "...G-Go, Morty."

Rick gave a huff. "Fine then. You can finish the damn serum, I don't care. Just do it quick, 'cause I hate this body!" He stomped out of the garage, taking Jerry and slamming the door behind him.

 **Author's Note: Forgot to mention, this is the first fic on an actual document! No more copy pasting from my notes app!**


	2. Part 2

Morty fumbled around with various mystery chemicals, trying to make sense of Rick's formula. He repeatedly peered onto the whiteboard in the vain hopes it would decode itself and become clear.

He reluctantly poured a purple substance into the machine Rick was working with earlier, which caused the concoction to leak a light pink fizz.

"Aw jeez," Morty said. He groped for a roll of brown paper towels in the corner of the workbench, tore off a good sized square, and used its rough surface to attempt to wipe up the mess. The carbonation, however, ate through the paper towel, leading to the mess being spread further, even dripping onto the ground. "How the hell does Rick do this?"

00000000

"Smith! Answer the question!" Mr. Goldenfold yelled. He had written a math problem on the dusty chalkboard, which was displayed to the rest of the class.

"Why should I?" Rick retorted, laying his arm on his desk and reclining in a defiant manner.

"Because I said so!" Mr. Goldenfold retorted.

"Yeah," Rick pulled out his flask from his pocket and took a sip. "Like your authori-uuurp!-ty means anything to me."

00000000

Morty had wiped through many variations of Rick's original formula, eventually trashing logic in favor of trial and error.

As time went on, Morty grew more frantic with the experimentation. He became so engrossed in it that he failed to notice Summer entering the garage. "Grandpa Rick, can you help me with my science homework?"

Morty combed his brain for something his grandfather would usually say. "J-Just d-d-don't do it," he stammered. "Out."

Summer's face transformed into a look of perplexion. "Are you okay?"

Morty used the chance to deflect the question and find out about Rick. "H-Has Ri-Morty come back from school yet?"

"No, he's staying late, I think." Summer took a step forward. "Wouldn't you have just pulled him out of school of you wanted to go on a crazy sci-fi adventure?"

Morty froze. "Uh, well, you s-see," He sighed. "Okay Summer, you win. Me and Rick got our bodies swapped from a party last night-"

"And you're working on a cure?" Summer finished.

"Yeah," Morty put his hand behind his head and looked down. "But it's not going so good."

"You're in Rick's body. If you want to get "Morty" out of school, just go get him." Summer explained.

A wave of incompetence washed over Morty. "Wait, r-really?"

"Yeah."

Morty dropped his tools and ran for the ship.

00000000

The quiz bowl team anxiously awaited their time on the stage in the auditorium, injecting tension into the air.

A boy in a cardigan stopped changed his direction and walked towards Rick when he saw him. "Morty Smith? What are you doing in the quiz bowl team?"

"Your asshole principal expects me to save the school from you idiots." Rick said.

"Um, okay." The boy sat down next to Rick and pulled out a set of flash cards from the binder he was carrying. "Can you help me study a little more before the competition starts?"

"What, like a conformist leech? Trust me, wake up now, and it'll save you a ton of ass pain later on."

"Okay," The boy said slowly. A bell reverberated through the area, signaling it was time to compete. Rick rose from his seat and sauntered out from the curtain, followed by the rest of the team.

00000000

Morty burst open the doors to the auditorium in a frantic search for his grandfather.

"Question," The quiz bowl commentator monotonically announced. "In this phase of mitosis, the cell splits into two daughter cells."

Rick arrogantly slapped his hand on the red buzzer in front of him. "Cytokinesis."

"Correct. Point for Harry Herpson."

Morty huffed and marched onto the stage. "Come on, Morty, we're getting out of

here." he said, attempting to drag Rick out of his seat.

"Look who decided to show up," Rick laughed. "You finally grow a pair?"

"Shut up!" Morty retorted. "We're going." He took hold of Rick's arm and yanked him out of his place at the quiz bowl table. "What are you looking at?" Morty yelled at the staring kids. He felt an unexplained surge of dominance and aggression take over his system.

00000000

"Finish the serum!" Morty ordered as him and Rick arrived back in the garage.

"Jeez, you, you're really cracking the whip now, aren't you, tough guy?" Rick said.

"Can it, genius! It's almost been twelve hours!" Morty snapped. "We're in each other's bodies, and you think you can just run off to, to stupid quiz bowl?"

"You think I wanted to be among those pretentious little shits?" Rick sneered. "Your dumbass principal herded me there for having a drink."

"You fucking drank?" Morty shrieked. "Oh my God."

"Christ, Morty, relax." Rick began clinking around test tubes and scribbling on the whiteboard, hard at work completing the formula.

"Is it finished?" Morty pried.

"I think I got it this time," Rick responded. He held out two test tubes foiled with a purple liquid decorated with cyan swirls. "Drink." Rick handed Morty his drink and downed his own, immediately collapsing afterwards.

Morty gulped and drank his own liquid. His senses were overwhelmed by how bitter it was until he passed out himself.

Morty groaned as he sat up from the floor of the garage. He quickly remembered why he was there and started sporadically parting his body. He saw and felt his familiar yellow shirt, his height also being returned to normal.

Morty sighed in relief to see his knocked out grandfather back in his body too.

 **Author's Note: Yeah, I kinda lost steam on this story since the first part. But I tthink I did an at least okay job, so I hope you still enjoy.**


End file.
